-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 65512 | JCLIRA       | STORIES              | 02/17/95 | 02/24/95 |     4    |
| Description: Long long ago, in a Miracle Bra far far away                    |

    long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
        Hundreds of tons of burnished steel lunged on impulse power through the
asteroid field. The imperial star battleship Mammary is pummeled by meteor
after meteor.
        Inside the huge craft, A dark, topheavy figure paces back and forth up
the bridge. Her face is hidden by a black mask and her breathing was the only
sound audible aside from the bleeping of computer terminals. She was known to
all the galactic empire merely as Lydia Vader.
        Seated at the main terminal was a scruffy-looking pilot. Despite his
unkempt hair and beard, Han Zlogar was known as the best navigator in the
galaxy. He was audacious, reckless, independant, and very, very good. Sitting
at his side was the horrendously evil inquisitor of the Empire, Grand Moff
      Abruptly the ship was rocked by collision with a giant asteroid. The
whole ship slammed sideways, and it poured Darth Lydia into the Grand Moff. Her
boobs bowled him over. Red lights began to floash as Muskox scrambled back to
his feet.
      Darth Lydia whirled on Han Zlogar. "Careful, you fool!" she yelled. "Do
you want to get us all killed?"
      Impertinently, Zlogar replied "Hey, listen, your highness, anytime you
want to take a crack at flying this thing, feel free to take a shot. Yeah,
that's what I thought. You just keep it buttoned, Lady, 'cause I'm the best
pilot there is and you don't want to lose me."
       Lydia growled "Your puny pilot's license is insignificant when compared
with the power of the dark side."
       "Yeah?" he retorted "Well, your sad devotion to that ancient religion
has not conjured up Laura's ship, hiding somewhere behind the Moons of Pi, nor
has it given you clairvoyance enough to find the plans to the Rebels' secret
weapon, the Titless Kettle. In fact, I think its all a bunch of...."
    here Zlogar stopped. His hands flew to his nipples. He tried to cover them,
but his face began to break into a grimace, then screams of pain. Lydia Vader
was making twisting motions with her hands.
     "I find your lack of faith disturbing." she quietly commented.
       "Lord Vader" interrupted Grand moff Muskox "Our scanners are indicating
a ship 200 kilometers away, leaving the moons of Pi."
      "Laura!" said Vader, whirling from Zlogar. He collapsed to the ground,
breathing relief. He massaged his nipples.
       "We can't be sure..." said Muskox.
       "It _is_ her. I can feel it." said Lydia Vader "The Tits are strong on
her. Captain Zlogar, full speed ahead!"
        "She's entering light speed." announced Muskox.
        "She won't get far." replied Lydia. "She's heading straight for
Kevtooine...homeworld of Kevin the Rusch. Radio ahead and have our friend Kevin
prepare a surprise for that Rebel scum."
         Meanwhile, on the speeding Rebel ship, a beautiful girl grimly plugged
in the coordinates to the ship's computer. She was clad all in white, and her
breasts were nearly as big as Lydia Vader's. She knew that between the Mammary
in hot pursuit and Kevin the Rusch's palace on Kevtooine, she would be caught.
She had to call in the help of an old friend. Someone else who believed in the
light side of the Tits. She inserted the disk containing the plans for the
Titless Kettle into her faithful robot, the sexturbine 2000. Then she put it
into an escape pod. Before she sent the robot hurtling into outer space, she
had it take a holographic image of her pleading;
         "Help me, kittyCat Kenobi. You're my only hope."
to be continued...