-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages --- | 47 | DOLLEBJ | STORIES | 06/06/96 | 06/13/96 | 7 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Description: hehehehheheh | ================================================================================ *cactus in the sky* *cactus in the sky* *You only see it when you're high* *cactus in the sky* Hello. Welcome to Cannabis Theatre. Tonight we take you on a wonderful world of jimson, and the grand artful films of that brilliant part of the world. Tonight's feature, "Buttsex at Tiffany's" is an excellent portrayal of a young boy's progression into manhood by way of clubbing baby seals, and anally raping the buxom blonde down the road. During our program we will also be honored with a live performance by the Ted Nugent Quintet, performing their classical hit, 'wang-bang sweet poontain" And now, onto the movie, which has been Referred to by Gene Shalit as "a horrid and nauseating piece of work that should be burned and all negatives destroyed. Ow, Ow, this is stupid, ow." On with the film. Camera shot of a snowy beach, with a young boy of about 13 or so tying a baby seal to a pole. boy: Gee pa, thank's for brining me out on your expedition! Father: anytime timmy. Now give that seal a good whack! *boy clubs seal with a resounding thud* Father: Way to swing that club son! seal: meep! meep! Father: now, your technique could use a little work. Here. Let me show you. *father steps behind boy and puts arms around little timmy and grabbing the club* Father: here, you gotta lean forward...yeahh...that's it...just lean...for...ward.....say son, you're really starting to develop muscles. Take that shirt off. let's see em. *funky bass line* Timmy: ow, ow, this is stupid, ow Father: sorry son, but it's a family tradition. Why do you tink your older brother walks funny? Timmy: can we go now? Tiffany's expecting me for dinner. Father: alright. but remember. no one can know about this. Timmy: sure thing pa. Well, it's time for a commercial break. Now isn't that moving just exquisite? More after this. Hi. This is Zip Stargo to speak on behalf of Weedy Time Ganja Treats(tm) Ever had that low, down in the dirt feeling? then Try Ganja Treats! Available in Cactus and Cheesy Beaver Flavors!! Ganja Treats! Can't be beat! <-(catchy jingle) Eat 'em all then beat your meat! Welcome back. We now pick up where we left off, With timmy over at tiffany;s for dinner. Timmy: Wow. That sure was great, Mrs. Spredum. Thanks. Mrs. Spredum: you're welcome timmy. Why don;'t you and Tiffany watch a movie in the other room? Tiffany: Okay mom. Movie starts. Mrs. Spredum goes to bed. Timmy: is she gone? i wanna show you something my dad showed me today. take off your clothes. Tiffany: okay... *Funky bass line* Mrs. Spredum: what's that noise. Timmy, you aren't having Buttsex with my daughter are you. Timmy: no , mrs. spredum Tiffany: Meep! meep! Well, now was that not a great work of our time or not? Join us next week as we bring you yet another classic hit, "A League of Their Moan." I'm Professor Heywood Jablomi, and this has been Cannabis Theatre. Good night. *if you pack us up a bong, then you can sing along* *cactus in the sky* *cactus in the sky* (fade out) Brodie@gee,cananyonetelli'mridingthatcactusrightnow?