-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages --- | 54733 | STU_KCRUSCH | JOKES | 12/01/93 | 12/31/93 | 3 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Description: happy mac THIS! | ================================================================================ TITLE: The New Macintosh Users's Flow Chart START Unpack and admire new computer, sexy aint it. Try to figure out how to put the thing together give up and read manual manual doesnt tell you shit call computer store -- manager says it's all in the manual tell manager what you think of him fuck around and break something call computer store again -- manager says it's your fault dare manager to come out here and say it's your fault try to write something computer lets you get three pages in and crashes call computer store -- manager says look in the manual call manager 17 kinds of motherfucker check manual -- it still doesn't tell you shit! retype document -- this time you get 4 pages in before it crashes. cuss and swear retype document -- this time you get 10 pages in before it crashes. call computer store -- threaten manager retype document icon with shiteating grin appears saying it ate the document sieze mouse by the tail, smash on desk icon smirks at you and gives you the finger throw computer on the floor and kick across room time for lunch meet some asshole who likes Macintosh invite asshole outside to discuss it kick asshole in the balls go back to work, computer is dead shake and rattle computer until shiteating icon rouses try to retype document call steve jobs 28 kinds of motherfucker icon starts fucking up documents you haven't even written yet call computer store -- manager says it's in the manual wipe ass on manual, throw on floor, stomp on it go to computer store, drive car through front window manager tells you you should have called first castrate and hang manager, set fire to store return machine shiteating icon has fucked up your bank account and morgage. rip open computer and feel around for icon something shocks the piss out of you shit eating icon drops his drawers and show you his ass ram first through screen, pull little fucker out and strangle him pick whole mess up and carry to window fly, you bastard END