-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
|  1086 | DA2091_KETHO | CHATTER              | 11/26/96 | 12/03/96 |     5    |
| Description: hehehee                                                         |

finally, because you demanded it (well, actually you didn't, but fuck you, i'm
posting it anayway) THe OJ- saga
Marsha moves slowly across the room to Jim, wrapping him in a sultry embrace.
"I've waited all my life for this moment, take me now. take me like I've..."
We interrupt today's broadcast of "The Young and the Useless" for a special
bulletin. Just minutes ago, the OJ Simpson verdict was annouced on National
Television. The verdict of Not Guilty was met with both cheers, tears, and
indifference. The scene in the computer lab of Chandler hall, Harrisonburg, VA,
is a bit different however....WE take you now to field correspondent Bob Comer,
who is in the lab now....
My God CC, it's horrible in here. There are African Americans saying "The Juice
is loose" and rednecks (how'd they get into college?) saying he's guilty and I
fear a riot may break out any minute.
Someone just ran from the TV lounge yelling "You've got to be fucking kidding
And that started it! Oh No!The person next to mejust got her head crushed by a
flying computer monitor! Another body lies crumpled with a motherboard sticking
out of it's back. Someone's tryng to shove a mouse up my nose! Back to you CC
while i kill this damn...
Um, Bob? Bob?
We seem to have lst connection with Mr. Comer. Teh last image we received was
that of a large gray African gorilla...no, wait...that's just a redneck. How
did they get into college? Wait...I've just been handed something....
The Harrisonburg chapter of the United states National Guard is now mobilizing
to march on Chandler. Both of them are heavily armed, and ready to....wait,
we've just reestablished connection with Mr. Comer, who apparently is still
alive in Chandler. We take you there now.....
Goddamn mutherfucking.....oh, I'm back on?
Well, the scene here is not a pretty one. Wait! it was just announced that Kato
is in Harrisonburg! all the women are running out to look for him. All the men
are running after the women. Some men are running after other men.
The national Guard has just arrived, but now I'm the only one left in the lab.
No, actually there is a lesbian, too.
Back to you, CC.
Thank you Bob.
Well, this is certainly an interesting development. The arrival of Kato in
Harrisonburg crushed the Chandler Lab riots more effectively than any mobilized
armed force could ever hope to do.....I think I'm going to go smoke a
cig...wait, we've just received reports that Kato has been spotted at
Harrisonburg's Valley Mall...We're sending Field Correspondent Bob Comer there
at this very moment. Over to you, Bob...
Thank you CC. I'm here at Valley Mall in Harrisonburg, VA. Behind me is the
entrance to Aladdin's Castle, the video arecade in the mall. Apparently this is
what Kato has been doing since he lost his importance in the trial, but he's
now the best damn MKIII player in the city.
Hordes of prepubescent girls, men, and rednecks (how'd they get into...oh wait,
this is Harrisonburg) are rushing in to kill him, shake his hand, or suc his
dick and get him to finger them while they post.
Oh No! the Mortal Kombat III machine has just been thrown out the glass doors
of the mall. Apparently a full scale riot has broken out! Back you you, CC.
(have to log off. will be continued in 30 minutes when i can log back on.)