-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 65175 | BMRODGER     | CHATTER              | 02/09/95 | 02/16/95 |     6    |
| Description: From the Sex-Files of The Judge                                 |

ok, after being pratically beaten into getting this posted on here, i finally
have the time to apply my ass to a chair and my hands to a keyboard and get
this shit done.  (thanks laura :)  )
the names are real, as are the bets won.  this is the actual stuff that got
wagered into the pot.  collecting the bet is at the winner's.....ummm....
expense i guess.  anyway, here's the recap:
"well, another exciting evening of poker at NO has come to a close.  the
results are in and the crowd is waiting in breathless anticipation.  johnny!
tell our lucky contestants what they've won!!!"
"weeeeeell, ben, ms. moonpie got one pot for the evening and it consisted of a
barbed condom, sex in the snow, a pair of vibrating silk boxers, a human ice
cream sundae (w/ sprinkles), a screaming orgasm in the clock tower, open
eyeglasses for those moments of boredom in the heat of passion, a quickie in
Duke's Duplicates, one grudge fuck, a champagne bath, one blow job from morgan,
and a 3-day weekend with the housemates gone for at least 50-60 hours."
"wow!  congrats, mp!  use those gifts wisely!  and our next bettor, johnny??"
"ah, yes, dang (happy penis man) claimed a large pot (why are we not suprised)
and in it was: a riding crop, Alice's knee socks from "Alice in Wonderland", 25
raw oysters, a jinsing root, 15 seconds of oral sex, an irrisistable urge to
suck anything that moves, a crack addiction, a subscription to "Adam & Eve",
1(one) qt. of strawberry DAK(tm) flavored love oil, and amnisty from having sex
with z!"
"dang!  you made out like a champ!  great job!  and the next person johnny?"
"yes, ben, the Cap'n scored big tonight!  Mark walked off with two hands
taking with him: breakaway underwear, a pair of stilleto heels and a foot
fetish, a nice pair of rosy nipples, a threesome with Anna Nicole-Smith and
Madonna during his 3-month vacation at the luxurious Castle Anthrax, a french
kiss, ankle cuffs, black silk sheets, a feather duster, his own pubic hair, a
siver thong, chocolate sauce, a come-on from someone who've you'd admired from
a distance, a 4 inch nose-to-labia chain, twister with a side qt. of baby oil,
and an immunity to iocane powder cause, hey, it's WESLEY!!"
"this poker host salutes you mark, well played game!  and what of his
"z won two of the 4 hands he played during the evening, ben, and in the process
he took home: a skinny dip in the Med., a detailed description of the
"wonderland incident", a pair of chaps, one lock of B'lana Torres's hair, a
loooooooong tongue, a flexibility spell, a tight mini-skirt, ground rhino horn,
a whipped cream cannon, the backseat of a 69 Camaro on a deserted desert
highway, the Galactic Prophylactic, a 5-piece velvet whip set (by ginsu), an
impersonation of clg in bed, the Kama Sutra w/ study aids, a tongue bath,
the chance to take Nicole Kidman from behind, sex with (and this is all of them
at once now) a romulan, all the characters from pooh corner, and jesus, a gift
certificate for penile engorgement, and that (when you're about to die) you are
to be fucked by a horse until you croak."
".....uh, great prize there, michael!  hope it comes in handy someday.  johnny,
whose next on the list?"
"ben, we've got jose~, and he just about kicked ass.  winning three pots and in
doing so, the big man took home: Chelsea Clinton and Socks the Cat at the same
time, a vibrating butt plug, stoned sex, a lady body builder, a full body
erogenous(sp?) zone, a battery powered pocket vagina (batteries not included),
Catherine the Great's sexual diary, a 14 hour fuck fest hosted by the Cap'n
hisself, a movie crew to film your favorite fantasy, a spanish leather riding
saddle equipped with a built in dildo, a dark green lace body stocking, a
bathtub full of Dr. Slice, a large antique bed, sex with the Star Trek
character of your choice, a set of Ben-Wah balls, a charge of disturbing the
peace with anyone you want in the hotel of your choice, one Klingon penis,
Tohubohu, the privilige of removing AND keeping 4 oz. of the Cap'n's semen, and
King Kong's left testicle!!"
"nicely played!  and our final winner of the evening?....."
". . . won the biggest pot of the night, ben.  nancy raked in major winnings
including: genital acupuncture, a giant anteater, one game of "Doctor", a 2
hour long orgasm, a beer enema, the ability to come at will, a courtdate for a
sexual incident at McDonald's, a waterbed equipped with silk scarves, the skill
for finding the G-spot, a full color diagram next to your bed showing in exact
detail how to reach instant orgasm - double orgasms - and the screaming shakes,
one ostrich feather for each day of the week, an apartment next to a nudist
colony with a telescope, and last, but certainly not least, z's MOM!!!!"
"amazing!!  congrats to nancy for all her winnings and thanks to all our
players!  we look forward to seeing you again on Sexual Poker.  until next
time, for johnny and the rest of the gang, i'm ben rodgers saying, "so long
till next time!"
afterthought:  also bet and won that evening was carrier and a splintery dildo
but in order to protect certain innocents from getting the wrong idea, we've
kept that little part out at their request.  ;)
         @igottheshitdone,oklaura?nowgimmesomeicecream  :)