-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 72685 | JCLIRA       | CHATTER              | 11/17/95 | 11/24/95 |     5    |
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| Description: What is "established"?                                          |
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>>He-who-would-call-himself-Scarecrow, learn to block delete.  It's _not_ that
>>difficult......and you're not entertaining.  At all.
>>
>>Felyne@stressedoutandpissedoff
>>
>
>    you-who-has-no-status-to-tell-established-chatterites-what-to-do, fuck off,
>if everyone posted about how lame *your* posts were we'd never get through
>chatter.
>
>Deadpool@shutup.(copyrightSkronk).com
>
   I'm not sure whether or not you're claiming to be an established Chatterite
or not, so I'll not aim this personally at you. Well, the newbies and returners
and long-time lurkers seem to be in need of knowing what an established
Chatterite is. I'm now going to do a little community service and attempt to
post some guidelines about what makes one an established Chatterite.
 
    Are you a Chatterite Quiz:
 
   If You've Never Been to a Dak: -50 points. We do exist off this board, you
know.
   If You've never drunk a Dak: -20 points. Does not count if you've drunk
daquaries somewhere else. Virgin Daks do count. You suck if you have come to a
Dak to drink something else.
   (Note: If you're Tuna and only drink beer, disregard this question. And
please, do not throw me at anything.)
   If you've never been at a Dak where they got desperate for ingredients and
ended up drinking Daks made with something other than Dak mix and rum (includes
cigarettes, beer, scotch), -5 points. If Cole has ever made you a Dak, you
probably qualify.
   If you are a member of SFFG: 0 points. Just because you're a member of SFFG
doesn't mean that you are a member of Chatter.
   If you are a member of The Nice Girls Club, the Monestary, the Hill People,
the Earth Mothers' Priestesses, or another Chatter institution, give yourself
10 points.
   If you are a woman and have been hit on by me, (JC), Kev, or Ben Rodgers,
give yourself 1 point. 10 points for all three of us. Fifteen if we all hit on
you the same night.
   If you are a man and have been hit on by Maria, Zak Morris, or Andy Warren,
give yourself 1 point. 10 points for all three of them. Fifteen if you
eventually gave in and, although heterosexual, made out with Andy.
   10 points if you can sing the chorus of "Follow the Band"
   Subtract 25 points if you've ever been to New Orleans (the house, not the
city)
   Subtract 15 points if you've never been to The End.
   Subtract 15 points if you've never been to The Fort/The Haven
   Subtract 10 points if you never went to the Lounge
   Subtract 10 points if you've never been to the Ranch, and another 10 if
you've never been to the Plantation.
   Subtract 5 points if you've never been to the Loft
   Subtract 5 points if you've never been to Constantinople
   Subtract 5 points if you've never made a mess of Laura White's house, before
after Doug lived there.
 Add 5 points if you've been camping at Staunton reservoir.
  Add 15 if you stay the night.
 Add 10 points if you exchange gossip with Lori or Cat.
 Add 10 points if you are a member of the Chain of Shame (your sexual history
connects you to Zlogar, Paul Lord, or Jenny Brown)
  Add 5 points if you've actually met Paul Lord or Jenny Brown.
  Add 5 points if you have ever considered cutting off your penis for wanting
to have sex with Morgan.
  Add five points if you attended:
      The first Girl Night
      Sexual Poker night
      Spike's bonfire
      Mav and Jason's wedding
 Add 10 points if you have ever gone driving with Kev, with no destination.
 Add 1 point if you've struck out with Meg
 Add 5 points if you've seen Robin naked
 Add 10 points if you've seen the cyst on Zlogar's butt.
 Add 3 points if you use the word "pimp" as a verb.
 Add 10 points for each person whom, after you've brought them to a few Daks,
has decided to transfer to JMU.
 Add 20 points if you've ever lived at the End, the Haven, or New Orleans.
 
   If, at this point, your score is POSITIVE, you may consider yourself
"established" as a member of Chatter, for better or worse. This gives you the
right to flame.
 
    Disclaimer: there are a lot of questions that could be asked that pertain
to life before I joined this circle. Questions like "have you ever been hit on
by Frank Ford?" should be worth a buttload of points, and should be written by
someone who's been around long enough to remember.
                         hermes