-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 59256 | STU_DPCAMPBE | CHATTER              | 06/17/94 | 06/29/94 |     4    |
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| Description: You're all doomed.                                              |
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>
>well...being excommunicated from said church some time ago, and being
>heretofore angst-less, and furthermore, fashioning myself as a renegade, I,
>will use this first illegal version when and how i please, and flaunt it in the
>face of the totalitarian whoopists...
>
>so there....nyah. :P~
>
>LYDIAmoto
 
 
ha-HA!  Little did you realize that your words, so full of FALSE BRAVADO, would
be seen by our AUGUST and LANKY IMPERIAL WHOOPIST GRACE!  Yes that's right it
is I, HULIO I, SUPREME HEAD of THE DIVINE, POWERFUL and REALLY, REALLY NIFTY
WHOOPIST CHURCH and ABSOLUTE MONARCH of this once-again-in-the-summer-doldrums
REALM of CHATTER!  And I am come from the significantly hotter than here
northland were I have for the past week labored each day in 100 degree
temperatures, with the heat index in excess of 120!  And furthermore I have had
to get up at 4:30 every weekday ante meridian for the past month!  What?  Who's
yelling "WAAAA"?  EXECUTE THEM!  So, as I was saying, working conditions are
rather unpleasant and as a result my demeanour is GENERALLY POOPY towards
self-styled rebels.
 
And you think you can flaunt your rebellion at me, do you?  hmmm?  HMMMMM?
WELL YOU CAN'T, YOU SAUCY WENCH!  Why not?  er....BECAUSE I SAID SO!  The new
standard reply form does not meet with exist IMPERIAL CHATTER ZONING LAWS.
Why, you ask once again?  Because it goes against the very SACRED TENANTS OF
THE WHOOPIST DOCTRINE!  Firstly, it has provided for positive feedback on
posts.  This is not acceptable.  Kind remarks in regard to chatter posts are
expressly forbidden, except of course for the EXPECTED SUCKING UP to authors of
OFFICIAL WHOOPIST DECREE.  Secondly, it has been written by an avowed
Christian.  Now, in the WHOOPIST CHURCH we are EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
DISCRIMINATORS.  Jose~ could be a non-practicing kosher buddhist for all we
care.  The main point is he is NOT A WHOOPIST.  Therefore he must be VILLIFIED,
CASTIGATED, DEMORALIZED, PERSECUTED and all sorts of other MULTI-SYLLABIC WORDS
of a GENERALLY UNPLEASANT CONOTATION.  The dreaded WHOOPIST INQUISITION will be
visiting him shortly.
 
In addition, be it known that BEETHOVEN was a far better composer than MOZART.
Even if he didn't have an academy award winning movie made about him.
 
Also, let me take this momement to eulogize the CELEBRATED WHOOPIST ICON, bob,
the multi-purpose iguana.  bob was unable to survive the rigors of moving about
in the company of the uninvited guest and passed away quietly a few weeks ago.
bob was well loved by his many friends and aquaintances.  He had many guises:
the reptilian womanizer, the serene prophet, the lethargic dispenser of poop.
He was all this and more.  There will never be another entity quite like bob.
I hereby decree that the REALM of CHATTER enter an EXTENDED PERIOD of MOURNING
to last the rest of the summer.  But fear not, the Church has already acquired
another SPIRITUAL LEADER in the excitedly urinating persona of THE WEIN.
Fear him.  Worship him.  Let him lick the insides of your nostrils.
 
We have spoken.  Let us make small whooping noises.
 
- Joker, EOC