-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 67142 | SXTURABI     | CHATTER              | 03/27/95 | 04/03/95 |     4    |
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| Description: toast me, baby!                                                 |
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the university of toast
 
biology - describe the reproductive cycle of toast.
chemistry - how do the molecules change form bread to toast?  what is the heat
     required to change bread to toast?  make a module of the molecular
     structure of toast.  is toast basic or acidic?
english -  write a haiku about toasters.
foreign languages - conjugate the irregular forms french toast.
geology - what are the topographic features of toast?
geography - what are the borders of toast?  where exactly does crust end and
     toast begin?
history -  what is the history of the toaster?
mathematics - if one piece of bread is placed in a toaster in New York at 1 pm
       and another bread is placed 5 minutes later in San Fransisco and
       the toaster in New York takes 7.97 minutes to toast and the
              toaster In San Fransisco takes 6.25 minutes, which piece of
         finished toast will be colder first?
philosophy - why toast?  where does the bread end and the toast begin?
religion - who created toast?
physics - how does the toaster work?
political science - what was the role of toast in the french revolution?
sociology - why does society encourage the eating of toast?
anthropology - what environmental factors caused man to toast bread?  how did
        man first toast bread?
accounting - what is the net profit on toaster sales?
economics -  what economic forces resulted in the trend from fresh toast to
      melba toast?
finance -  how much capital is needed to mass produce toast?
business law - how can you apply bylaw 244G to the regulation of toasting?
management - how do you to maximize the efficiency of toasters?
marketing - how can make toast more appealing to women ages 16-24?
education - how can we teach toast better?
military science -  how can we enlist the aid the powdered toast man in
       national defense?
psychology - does toast have bread envy?  what is the collective unconscious of
      the toast?  does it remember being bread? what are the behavior
       patterns of toast?
art - what is the chiaroscuro of toast?  carve the pieta out of toast.
speech communication - how do you communicate with toast more effectively?
mass communication - how do you improve the public's perception of toast?
music - what key is toast in?
theatre -  is toast comedic or tragic?  do an improve skit using toast as a
    prop.
dance - do an interpretive dance on the feelings of bread as it approaches the
        toaster.
health sciences - how do you provide prenatal care and education for toast?
kinesiology - describe the metabolism of toast.  how does toast move?
nursing - what is the best way to care for overdone toast?
social work - how do we stop the use of low-grade butter among homeless toast?
speech pathology - how do you improve the language skills of young toast?
computer science -  how do you program a toaster to know the difference between
      pop tarts and bread?  do you run the system on unix, dos,
      or macs?
integrated science and technology - how can we integrate the disciplines of
biology, chemistry, and computer science of toast to the exclusion of other
disciplines?  is it feasible to use toast as a construction material?
 
 
this public service announcement brought to you by the letter t, the number 4,
and toast.  this post has been sponsored by the better toast council of jmu.
use only 100%, grade A, USDA approved toast for your protection and better
enjoyment.
 
raven, lisa, kermit, and upallnight