-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 58847 | STU_PLCAMPBE | CHATTER              | 04/27/94 | 05/11/94 |     4    |
| Description: Beer me one last time.                                          |

FUCK (I wanted my last post to have profanity on line ONE, godFUCKINGdammit)
I Paul "tuna" Campbell, being of sound mind (granting soberness) and big 'ol
hoss body do hereby serve notice that upon my graduation I am giving the fuck
away the following:
To shay (aka sexturbine): My swarthy swagger... it'll be hard to use it, given
                          that my legs are a tad longer than yours.
To solon: The knowledge that my god is better.
To Z: A large caliber handgun with 6 bullets in it.  Play russian roulette!
      If not that then at least a healthy dose of humility.
To Kev: The sphinctometer, it's only fair since the 2 largest quakes in the
        'burg were both as a direct result of a comment you made (one of
        which being something about a certain person being the dexatrim
        to his sexual appetite... now THAT is funny!).
To Atlantis: Supermenu sucks dick.
To malester: A white tee-shirt.
To evil maria: Well, I would give you my killer instinct, but That would
               probably be a sedative to you. ;)
To Omar: nothing.  I reckon evil maria keeps you too busy to enjoy anything
         I'd give you anyways.
To tsf:  My alarm clock.  Set it at about midnight.  When it goes off, that
         means it's time to go to bed.
To Shadowfax: Beer.
To blackbird: 3 inches of height. ;)
To 'badlands: nothing.  You're a fucking waste of flesh already. ;)
To meg: My winning personality.  You've been after just about everything
        else I have!
To Thor: Nothing.  You a fuckin' hoss, you don't need anything.
To Misha: "Dude, women are COOL." ;)
To Poppy:  Water.  Drink some BEFORE you pass out!
To Hoser (JOSE): Get a life you fucking slug. ;)
To bum: See above.
To priap: same fucking thing, loser.
To Hulio: The knowledge that beer is the one and true god, and you will rot in
          soberland for all of your blaspheming.
To islander: A bannana soap full bust of butthead, so you can pray to your god.
             (see above about rotting in soberland)
To strangelass: My tire iron.  Use it to educate Frankie on how often to do the
To my baby sister:  My shoes.  You'll fill them before long, I reckon.
To me: The gas truck.  Not one of you assholes are hossy enough to drive it.
       So the gas truck comes with me.
To JMU in general:  My ass, which you can kiss repeatedly.
So long you fucks.  It's been tolerable by the grace of beer.