-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages ---
| 58847 | STU_PLCAMPBE | CHATTER              | 04/27/94 | 05/11/94 |     4    |
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| Description: Beer me one last time.                                          |
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FUCK (I wanted my last post to have profanity on line ONE, godFUCKINGdammit)
 
I Paul "tuna" Campbell, being of sound mind (granting soberness) and big 'ol
hoss body do hereby serve notice that upon my graduation I am giving the fuck
away the following:
 
To shay (aka sexturbine): My swarthy swagger... it'll be hard to use it, given
                          that my legs are a tad longer than yours.
 
To solon: The knowledge that my god is better.
 
To Z: A large caliber handgun with 6 bullets in it.  Play russian roulette!
      If not that then at least a healthy dose of humility.
 
To Kev: The sphinctometer, it's only fair since the 2 largest quakes in the
        'burg were both as a direct result of a comment you made (one of
        which being something about a certain person being the dexatrim
        to his sexual appetite... now THAT is funny!).
 
To Atlantis: Supermenu sucks dick.
 
To malester: A white tee-shirt.
 
To evil maria: Well, I would give you my killer instinct, but That would
               probably be a sedative to you. ;)
 
To Omar: nothing.  I reckon evil maria keeps you too busy to enjoy anything
         I'd give you anyways.
 
To tsf:  My alarm clock.  Set it at about midnight.  When it goes off, that
         means it's time to go to bed.
 
To Shadowfax: Beer.
 
To blackbird: 3 inches of height. ;)
 
To 'badlands: nothing.  You're a fucking waste of flesh already. ;)
 
To meg: My winning personality.  You've been after just about everything
        else I have!
 
To Thor: Nothing.  You a fuckin' hoss, you don't need anything.
 
To Misha: "Dude, women are COOL." ;)
 
To Poppy:  Water.  Drink some BEFORE you pass out!
 
To Hoser (JOSE): Get a life you fucking slug. ;)
 
To bum: See above.
 
To priap: same fucking thing, loser.
 
To Hulio: The knowledge that beer is the one and true god, and you will rot in
          soberland for all of your blaspheming.
 
To islander: A bannana soap full bust of butthead, so you can pray to your god.
             (see above about rotting in soberland)
 
To strangelass: My tire iron.  Use it to educate Frankie on how often to do the
                dishes.
 
To my baby sister:  My shoes.  You'll fill them before long, I reckon.
 
To me: The gas truck.  Not one of you assholes are hossy enough to drive it.
       So the gas truck comes with me.
 
To JMU in general:  My ass, which you can kiss repeatedly.
 
So long you fucks.  It's been tolerable by the grace of beer.
 
tuna