1) Vax baby: -One who gets confused when faced with a prompt other than "$" or MAIL> -One who wants to know what "UserID:" means. -One who blinks puzzledly at logout screens. -One who doesn't know that a blank screen does NOT mean that the terminal is dead. -One who posts blank postings or postings containing "C C QUIT HELP H EXIT X E HELP" -One who thinks that once out of mail, they're logged off. -One who becomes flustered and panicky when someone bit-nets them. -One who becomes flustered and panicky when someone phones them. -One who wants to know how to get Supermenu installed 'on their computer 2) Vax virgin: -One who does not know what hitting "w", "n", "t", "v" or "s" on the bulletin board does. -One who doesn't know what a smiley is. -One who can recognize what a process name is, but can't figure out how it got there. -One who knows various names on the bb, but has yet to actually meet more than ten percent of them. -One who still introduces people as "he's/she's on chatter" -One who has yet to figure out why people get upset at caps lock. -One who has just heard of IT, and wonders what the letters stand for. -One who feels a moral or physical aversion to block deletion. -One who uses Supermenu everytime they log in. 3) Vax pledge, class 1: -One who has just found IRC. -One who has actually MET some of the vaxveterans, and knows what they look like. -One who still thinks PHONE is a pretty neat idea. -One who knows where the Help Desk is when mentioned in casual conversation -One who has a login.com -One who is struggling with the concept of a logout screen, but has actually figured out what one is. -One who can impress Vax Babies with their 'vast' knowledge. -One who can now set broadcast to nobroad, given a hint and some time. -One who misses M135. 4) Vax pledge, class 2: -One who uses bitnet instead of phone. -One who has learned to make those big, funky letters that blink a lot. -One who knows what Options (from the bb menu) does -One who just locked out Philosophy for the first time. (or Religion, or Chatter, or Poetry, or Art...) -One who has set auto-decrypt -One who's finally figured out what DCL is. -One who now responds to his/her process name while nowhere near a terminal. -One who now thinks that (insert name of vaxveteran) is a putz. -One who is now wondering how the vaxveterans get their prompts to look like that. -One who now actually has a logout screen, which consists of two lines of big funky letters which blink a lot -One who knows what a bit-bomb is -One who has at least heard a reference to Bud Hollar -One who has a keyword.com -One who remember people meeting Paul and saying, "so you're *the* Paul Lord? wow. Do the Jesus thing, will ya?" -One who remembers when ther WAS no supermenu. 5) Vaxveteran(after this stage, the level forks. The following classifications are approximately equal in status. 5a: Programming Gods -One who now can write programs in DCL, Pascal, Fortran, and twenty other languages, and will explain them to you, even if you don't want them to do so. -One who complains to OIT at least once a day about something. ANything. -One who knows all OIT employees on a first name basis, WITHOUT the use of OIT_ before the name. 5b: Doomheads -One who is in any vaxlab, downloading Doom onto the computers for tag-team Doom marathons. -One who occasionally screams in anguish for no readily apparent reason in the vaxlab -One who will look up whenever the words "New version of Doom" are mentioned. -One who begins to mimick, unconsciously, the facial expressions of the character window on Doom. -One who quizzes people randomly as to what creatures appear on which level. -One who knows what Barney and Beavis&Butthead have to do with Doom -One who knows how to play Doom with Barney and B&B -One who speaks about Quake as though they are preaching about the second coming. 5c: Multi-User addicts -One who spends at leat 1.5 hours a day on a mud, muck, mush or other multi-user role playing game. -One who has at least two different characters on any one mu** -One who has the finer points of the Kindred, the Mage, and the Garou memorized better than their Spanish vocabulary. -One who knows where the good and bad mu**'s are. -One who has a character on good and bad mu**'s. -One who has at least one mu** "pen-pal". -One who has carnal knowledge of someone they met on a mu**. 5d: Philosophy/Religion geek. -One who will enthusiastically talk about whether there is a god or not, what his phone number may or may not be, and if he is male or female. 5e: Ex-Philosophy/Religion geek. -One who will scream and run away if the subject of the existence of god, his phone number, and his/her sex is mentioned. 5f: VaxVeteran, Pure Strain -One who knows all the other vaxveterans, knows how much they can drink, and whether they have ever thrown up in the bathroom at the Wonderland/New Orleans/The End/Oz/Happy Acres/Stins -One who spends at least 2 hrs/day in the vax labs, while not accomplishing any useful work. -One who spends at least 1.99/hrs/day reading the BB or playing games. -One who can read through the BB at any given time and have less than five notices unread. -One who has a bomb file -One who can tell at any given time, how many notices in what category they have not read on the bb -One who can go from the MAIN.BB to Chatter to SFFG without exiting the MAIN.BB -One who has a list of 5 or more alternate process names -One who has a list of 5 or more alternate mail personals -One who has a .sig and a .intro file -One who has a witty, or mentally stimulating .plan -One who knows what the N key is and what it does. -One who knows what "wimps hit the n key" means. -One who can successfully accomplish a "Press the V key" post -One who knows who can be insulted & who can't. -One who knows what lol, timfpotw, srf, rfl, fotflm(q)ao, tkm, psi, ngs, waaaa, titm, ihnjh,ijls and fyysos mean. -One who knows what a barrel, a fish, and the .357 magnum have in common. -One who knows what a blivit is. -One who knows how tuna got his nickname. -One who has heard at least two (2) tales-from-the-tuna -One who has participated in at least three Postings From Hell, and has started at least one. -One who knows what a Dak is, _who_ Dak is, and how much rum must be sacrified to him/her/it/whatever. -One who knows the toast and the benediction -One who had a Yukon Death Dak. -One who knows who Slug and Beast are/were. (optional.) -One who complains about chatter and waits for someone else to do something about it. -One who is tired of hearing the story about how Omar met TSF. (these are NO LONGER roughly equal.) 6. Micro Lab operator/Help Desk staffer/MRC student assistant -One who actually gets paid for reading the BB five hundred times a day. -One who knows about as much about any given computer-related subject as the person asking the question. 7. Operator: -One who dispenses printouts. -One who can kill processes. -One who gets paid. -One who accepts sacrfices of small animals in exchange for printouts. 8: Old fart (or, Graduate already, dammit!) -One who had a witty and/or amusing .plan, but has no wish to further amuse the masses. ('sides, it uses valuable quota) -One who has a names.com with people that graduted over three years ago in it. -One who screams/shivers/pisses thier pants whenever scruffy is mentioned. -One who had had a stu_ for more than 3 years and lost it. -One who has left chatter for more than a year in order to improve grades. -One who remembers what rom used to be like. -One who remembers before everyone cut thier hair. -One who comes to JMU at least once a month to have a social life -One who is at least one year behind their class for the years they have been here (3rd year sophmore, 5th year junior, etc.) -One who has slept with at least one other vax_veteran -One who complains about chatter sucking wind and not being as good as it used to be and _does_ something about it. -One who graduated five years ago or more from high school. -One who has more than one handle. -One who knows the origin of almost everyone else's handle. -One who remembers g30. -One who switched from physics to cs because it was "too hard". -One who switched from cs to another major. -One who switched back to cs. -One who knows why "the rats clapped". -One who knows about tank stories and knows the answer to "if this is reality, then where are my shoes?" -One who has used the vax to advertise something (radio show, convention, etc.) -One who helped write/rewrite the bulliten board system. -One who requested a new category in chatter and got it. -One who has funny looking pictures of vax people no one knows. -One who knows for whom the bathroom is the best place at a party. -One who took the purity test on the steps outside the den of iniquity.