1) Vax baby:   -One who gets confused when faced with a prompt other than "$"
                or MAIL>
               -One who wants to know what "UserID:" means.
               -One who blinks puzzledly at logout screens.
               -One who doesn't know that a blank screen does NOT
                mean that the terminal is dead.
               -One who posts blank postings or postings containing
                "C C QUIT HELP H EXIT X E HELP"
               -One who thinks that once out of mail, they're logged off.
               -One who becomes flustered and panicky when someone bit-nets
               -One who becomes flustered and panicky when someone phones them.
               -One who wants to know how to get Supermenu installed 'on their

2) Vax virgin:  -One who does not know what hitting "w", "n", "t", "v" or "s"
                 on the bulletin board does.
                -One who doesn't know what a smiley is.
                -One who can recognize what a process name is, but can't figure
                 out how it got there.
                -One who knows various names on the bb, but has yet to actually
                 meet more than ten percent of them.
                -One who still introduces people as "he's/she's on chatter"
                -One who has yet to figure out why people get upset at caps
                -One who has just heard of IT, and wonders what the letters
                 stand for.
                -One who feels a moral or physical aversion to block deletion.
                -One who uses Supermenu everytime they log in.
3) Vax pledge, class 1:
 -One who has just found IRC.
 -One who has actually MET some of the vaxveterans, and knows what they look
 -One who still thinks PHONE is a pretty neat idea.
 -One who knows where the Help Desk is when mentioned in casual conversation
 -One who has a login.com
 -One who is struggling with the concept of a logout screen, but has actually
  figured out what one is.
 -One who can impress Vax Babies with their 'vast' knowledge.
 -One who can now set broadcast to nobroad, given a hint and some time.
 -One who misses M135.

4) Vax pledge, class 2:
 -One who uses bitnet instead of phone.
 -One who has learned to make those big, funky letters that blink a lot.
 -One who knows what Options (from the bb menu) does
 -One who just locked out Philosophy for the first time. (or Religion,
  or Chatter, or Poetry, or Art...)
 -One who has set auto-decrypt
 -One who's finally figured out what DCL is.
 -One who now responds to his/her process name while nowhere near a terminal.
 -One who now thinks that (insert name of vaxveteran) is a putz.
 -One who is now wondering how the vaxveterans get their prompts to look
  like that.
 -One who now actually has a logout screen, which consists of two lines
  of big funky letters which blink a lot
 -One who knows what a bit-bomb is
 -One who has at least heard a reference to Bud Hollar
 -One who has a keyword.com
 -One who remember people meeting Paul and saying, "so you're *the* Paul Lord?
  wow. Do the Jesus thing, will ya?"
 -One who remembers when ther WAS no supermenu.
5) Vaxveteran(after this stage, the level forks. The following classifications
   are approximately equal in status.
5a: Programming Gods
 -One who now can write programs in DCL, Pascal, Fortran, and twenty
  other languages, and will explain them to you, even if you don't want
  them to do so.
 -One who complains to OIT at least once a day about something. ANything.
 -One who knows all OIT employees on a first name basis, WITHOUT the
  use of OIT_ before the name.
5b: Doomheads
 -One who is in any vaxlab, downloading Doom onto the computers for tag-team
  Doom marathons.
 -One who occasionally screams in anguish for no readily apparent reason
  in the vaxlab
 -One who will look up whenever the words "New version of Doom" are mentioned.
 -One who begins to mimick, unconsciously, the facial expressions of the
  character window on Doom.
 -One who quizzes people randomly as to what creatures appear on which level.
 -One who knows what Barney and Beavis&Butthead have to do with Doom
 -One who knows how to play Doom with Barney and B&B
 -One who speaks about Quake as though they are preaching about the second 
5c: Multi-User addicts
 -One who spends at leat 1.5 hours a day on a mud, muck, mush or other
  multi-user role playing game.
 -One who has at least two different characters on any one mu**
 -One who has the finer points of the Kindred, the Mage, and the Garou
  memorized better than their Spanish vocabulary.
 -One who knows where the good and bad mu**'s are.
 -One who has a character on good and bad mu**'s.
 -One who has at least one mu** "pen-pal".
 -One who has carnal knowledge of someone they met on a mu**.

5d: Philosophy/Religion geek.
 -One who will enthusiastically talk about whether there is a god or not,
  what his phone number may or may not be, and if he is male or female.
5e: Ex-Philosophy/Religion geek.
 -One who will scream and run away if the subject of the existence of god,
  his phone number, and his/her sex is mentioned.
5f: VaxVeteran, Pure Strain
 -One who knows all the other vaxveterans, knows how much they can drink,
  and whether they have ever thrown up in the bathroom at the Wonderland/New
  Orleans/The End/Oz/Happy Acres/Stins
 -One who spends at least 2 hrs/day in the vax labs, while not accomplishing
  any useful work.
 -One who spends at least 1.99/hrs/day reading the BB or playing games.
 -One who can read through the BB at any given time and have less than
  five notices unread.
 -One who has a bomb file
 -One who can tell at any given time, how many notices in what category they
  have not read on the bb
 -One who can go from the MAIN.BB to Chatter to SFFG without exiting the
 -One who has a list of 5 or more alternate process names
 -One who has a list of 5 or more alternate mail personals
 -One who has a .sig and a .intro file
 -One who has a witty, or mentally stimulating .plan
 -One who knows what the N key is and what it does.
 -One who knows what "wimps hit the n key" means.
 -One who can successfully accomplish a "Press the V key" post
 -One who knows who can be insulted & who can't.
 -One who knows what lol, timfpotw, srf, rfl, fotflm(q)ao, tkm, psi, ngs,
  waaaa, titm, ihnjh,ijls and fyysos mean.
 -One who knows what a barrel, a fish, and the .357 magnum have in common.
 -One who knows what a blivit is.
 -One who knows how tuna got his nickname.
 -One who has heard at least two (2) tales-from-the-tuna
 -One who has participated in at least three Postings From Hell, and
  has started at least one.
 -One who knows what a Dak is, _who_ Dak is, and how much rum must be
  sacrified to him/her/it/whatever.
 -One who knows the toast and the benediction
 -One who had a Yukon Death Dak.
 -One who knows who Slug and Beast are/were. (optional.)
 -One who complains about chatter and waits for someone else to do something
  about it.
 -One who is tired of hearing the story about how Omar met TSF.
(these are NO LONGER roughly equal.)
6. Micro Lab operator/Help Desk staffer/MRC student assistant
 -One who actually gets paid for reading the BB five hundred times a day.
 -One who knows about as much about any given computer-related subject
  as the person asking the question.
7. Operator:
 -One who dispenses printouts.
 -One who can kill processes.
 -One who gets paid.
 -One who accepts sacrfices of small animals in exchange for printouts.
8: Old fart (or, Graduate already, dammit!)
 -One who had a witty and/or amusing .plan, but has no wish to further amuse
  the masses. ('sides, it uses valuable quota)
 -One who has a names.com with people that graduted over three years ago in it.
 -One who screams/shivers/pisses thier pants whenever scruffy is mentioned.
 -One who had had a stu_ for more than 3 years and lost it.
 -One who has left chatter for more than a year in order to improve grades.
 -One who remembers what rom used to be like.
 -One who remembers before everyone cut thier hair.
 -One who comes to JMU at least once a month to have a social life
 -One who is at least one year behind their class for the years they have been
  here (3rd year sophmore, 5th year junior, etc.)
 -One who has slept with at least one other vax_veteran
 -One who complains about chatter sucking wind and not being as good as
  it used to be and _does_ something about it.
 -One who graduated five years ago or more from high school.
 -One who has more than one handle.
 -One who knows the origin of almost everyone else's handle.
 -One who remembers g30.
 -One who switched from physics to cs because it was "too hard".
 -One who switched from cs to another major.
 -One who switched back to cs.
 -One who knows why "the rats clapped".
 -One who knows about tank stories and knows the answer to "if this is reality,
  then where are my shoes?"
 -One who has used the vax to advertise something (radio show, convention, etc.)
 -One who helped write/rewrite the bulliten board system.
 -One who requested a new category in chatter and got it.
 -One who has funny looking pictures of vax people no one knows.
 -One who knows for whom the bathroom is the best place at a party.
 -One who took the purity test on the steps outside the den of iniquity.